Crispy Tofu Katsu Curry

Hot on the heels of the shop bought Wasabi dish - and because I just haven't shut up about how good it is compared to supermarket own-brands - my girlfriend decided to look into katsu curry sauce recipes. The original intention was that she'd cook something to accompany it but, the moment she mentioned it, I told her I was basically honour-bound to do it myself - partly because I've done so little cooking recently aside from the occasional Gousto boxes we've ordered.

In all honesty, this was probably a bit more advanced than I'm used to, and the instructions were a little vague (not great when my grasp of my own hob is still a little shaky) and weirdly presented, so I'm going to detail it all here in my usual style...

Ingredients:
Kombu Dashi stock

• 500ml water (approx. - a little more won't hurt)
• Dashi Konbu dried kelp (1 section of approx. 10x10cm)

Preparation Time: About 30-45 minutes

Katsu Curry Sauce

• 30ml Sunflower Oil
• Red Onion (one should be sufficient - meant to be white, but we ordered Morrisons' Wonky Onions, and that's basically pot luck)
• Ginger (for convenience, I used ready-chopped, frozen ginger - about 1 teaspoon)
• Garlic (2 cloves, crushed)
• Mild Curry Powder (1 tablespoon)
• Plain Flour (2 tablespoons)
• Kombu Dashi stock (made earlier, using ingredients above!)
• Light Soy Sauce (2-3 tablespoons)
• Honey (1 tablespoon)
• Rice Vinegar (1 tablespoon)
• Garam Masala (2 tablespoons)

Preparation Time: About 30 minutes

Crispy Tofu

• Tofu (I used Cauldron's - a 396g pack)
• Egg (ended up using 2)
• Plain Flour (about 100g will be more than sufficient)
• Panko Breadcrumbs (about 75g will be more than sufficient)
• Salt & Pepper (a pinch of each)
• Sunflower oil (sufficient to fill a frying pan to a depth of a little over 1cm)

Preparation Time: About 10-15 minutes, once the tofu is drained

Additionals:
Rice (for convenience, I used a 250g pack of Morrisons long grain rice, microwaved)
Spring Onions (to garnish)

Tools Required:

• Sharp Knife
• Garlic Press
• Grater (if using fresh stem ginger)
• Chopping Board
• Frying Pan
• Saucepan
• Measuring Jug
• Funnel
• Coffee Filter
• Receptacles for all the ingredients
• Stirring Implements (several required!)
• Heavy Book (to aid the draining of the tofu)
• Kitchen Roll (also to aid the draining of the tofu) 
• Tongs (to get the tofu into/out of the frying pan)

The Process:
First and foremost, the Kombu Dashi must be prepared. Cut a section of the kelp, about 10cm², and wipe off any salt residue with a damp cloth. Pour about 500ml of water into a saucepan, immerse the kelp and heat on a low setting on the hob - the idea is to get the water hot, but not let it boil... you're essentially brewing a weird, kelp-based tea - and simmer for about 25 minutes. Scoop off the froth that will start to build up every so often. After about 25 minutes, you should have a yellowish liquid, which you then need to filter into a jug for the time being. The easiest was is to stuff a coffee filter into a funnel and pour the liquid through. Set this aside to drain while you proceed with the other steps.

Next, the tofu will also need to be drained - it's generally packaged with a lot of water and absorbs quite a bit, but will need to be reasonably dry for this. Take the tofu out of the packaging and set it on a plate covered with some kitchen roll or a dishcloth. Cover the tofu itself with more of the same, then put something heavy on top (with some kind of non-absorbant barrier if you're using a book like I did - I used a small chopping board under a copy of How to Cook Everything Vegetarian by Mark Bittman). Leave this to squeeze the water out of the tofu, and move onto the sauce.

Start by dicing the onion, crushing the garlic and, if using a chunk of ginger, chop or grate about a teaspoon's worth. Add 30ml of sunflower oil to a saucepan and heat over a medium setting on the hob. Add the onion, ginger and garlic to the saucepan and cook for 2-3 minutes, by which time the onion should start to become tender. Add the curry powder and stir thoroughly, allowing it to cook for about another minute - a wave of curry scent will let you know it's ready. Slowly add the flour, stirring constantly to blend it into the mixture, but try to avoid letting it cake on the sides of the saucepan.

Next come the first of the liquid ingredients: slowly add the Kombu Dashi, mixing in the soy sauce and honey as you go. Allow to simmer so the sauce thickens, stirring occasionally to avoid a skin developing on the top. Finally, add the rice vinegar and garam masala and cook for about another minute. This now needs to be set aside - but kept warm - until the tofu is sorted. The aroma will start to whet your appetite, so it's best to move quickly from here on...

By this point, the tofu should have had most of the water squeezed out of it, so slice the block into strips about 1cm thick. Sprinkle or grind over a little salt, and leave them aside for about 10 minutes, on a sheet or two of kitchen roll. During this time, start preparations for the Panko crumb coating.

You'll need two plates and two shallow bowls. Pour the flour onto the plate and mix in a little salt and pepper for seasoning. Break an egg or two into the first bowl and beat it - adding a little salt here, if you wish. Into the last bowl pour the panko crumbs. Take each slice of tofu and first coat it in the flour. Next coat it in the beaten egg as evenly as possible, then quickly transfer it to the panko crumb bowl and try to ensure it's thoroughly coated. Put the coated strips onto the second plate, then fire up the hob with a frying pan filled to a level of about 1-1.5cm with oil. Once it's hot, transfer in as many of the crumb-coated tofu strips as you're comfortable frying at any one time (I managed three, though my frying pan could probably accommodate a couple more!). Fry each batch until they're nice and golden (depending on the temperature, it'll be about 1-2 minutes), then transfer out and allow to rest on some kitchen roll to dry out a little.

Stick the rice into the microwave and cook according to the pack's instructions - you'd generally be looking at 2 minutes but, obviously, if you prefer to cook your rice the traditional way, you'll need to start that a little earlier in the process, in another saucepan, and have it set aside for this step. Add half the rice to each of a couple of bowls, top with the fried tofu strips and pour over the sauce. If you're feeling fancy, you could add some sort of topping, like spring onion or grated carrot. Serve up, and scoff down.

The Results:
This was probably one of the more involved processes I've tried, but still reasonably easy to break down into stages so I didn't have to split my focus between two tasks. Having to make the Kombu Dashi stock was quite frustrating, and I'm not convinced that worked properly - the photos I saw online showed a clear, yellowish liquid but, even after filtering, mine was quite cloudy. Additionally, the packaging recommended steeping the kelp for 6-8 hours before heating it. Since neither Courtney nor I had seen or anticipated this instruction, we ended up using a 'plan b' method which took only half an hour... It's entirely possible this method wasn't as effective, so I may try to make another batch of the stock by the recommended method at some point.

Everything else is pretty straightforward - the sauce is really easy to make, though it does use quite a lot of different ingredients that have to be added at specific points. Personally, I'm always wary of adding any powdery ingredients into a pan containing very little in the way of liquid ingredients, since it tends to just stick to the sides of the pan and become really difficult to wash up afterward, but this one worked out OK. Once the sauce had thickened up, the rest of the recipe was quick enough that I was able to take the sauce off the heat entirely until just before serving up. It stayed warm, and needed only a little stirring now and then to prevent a skin forming. Admittedly, I put it back on the hob briefly just before serving, but only to ensure it was piping hot rather than just warm.

I'm still not used to working with tofu, and I'm not convinced I drained it sufficiently... but it's a difficult judgement call: it has to be able to pick up the flour, but it shouldn't immediately soak through the flour. The egg part was very frustrating, because it should apparently only need one large egg... but I ended up beating a second because, with nine strips of tofu to crumb-coat, I'd run out of egg by the sixth or seventh, even though some of the strips weren't as thoroughly coated as I'd have liked. The egg didn't bind very well with the flour-coated tofu, but ended up getting my fingers very sticky. Consequently, I ended up with more panko breadcrumb on my fingers than on the tofu strips... or so it felt. As it happened, I think they were all sufficiently coated. Frying them was nice and easy, though I ran out of sunflower oil and had to supplement it with some Crisp'n'Dry... which, upon reflection, would probably have been the better oil to start with, as we'd just got a new bottle that morning. Since I'm also not used to shallow frying, there was quite a range of shades in the finished crispy tofu strips - from slightly anaemic through to "Oh, shit! I'd better get that out of the frying pan now, or it's gonna burn!" - as the last batch seemed to need less cooking time than the previous batches.

Now, clearly I'm quite fussy about my katsu curry... While I certainly enjoyed this - particularly the delayed kick of spiciness in the sauce - I'm not entirely convinced it was actually katsu. Maybe it was the use of red onion rather than white, maybe I needed to add a bit of additional seasoning to the sauce (I was quite conscious of the salt being added to various things already!). Not to say it wasn't nice - I really liked it... but something about it wasn't quite according to what I think of as 'katsu curry' flavour. I think the quanity was just about as perfect as it could be for two people - enough to cover the tofu strips and rice without utterly swamping it. What was interesting - both to me and to Courtney - was that there's nothing especially unusual or unique about the curry itself: it uses a standard mild curry powder and garam masala. Perhaps using both is a little odd, but even the use of honey in something that's meant to be savoury isn't without precedent.

What I don't enjoy is wastage... and if wasting most of the second egg used for the crumb coating wasn't bad enough, the original recipe specified 125g of plain flour and 100g of breadcrumb. Frankly, I think one could easily get away with half that considering how much was left over - which is why I've reduced the quantities above and noted that they'd be "more than sufficient". I'm guessing the original quantities were given more to ensure sufficient volume of flour/crumb to roll the tofu around in rather than as any indication of actual usage within the recipe. One of the reasons I'm not used to shallow frying is that I really hate working with that much cooking oil. We've taken to filtering and recycling ours but, obviously, it has a limited lifespan (unless you want to turn it into biofuel for a car). Additionally, putting this together also piled up an awful lot of washing up even before the food was served up and eaten.

Still, if you can put up with that, it's actually quite a fun recipe and I'm definitely going to try this again sometime, perhaps ensuring I use white onion and truly fresh ginger, maybe adding some salt to the curry sauce... Certainly trying to do better with the crispy tofu.

Wasabi Chicken Katsu Curry with Rice

Since I've not posted in a few months, I figured it was about time to put something up... and, in the absence of any new cooking (other than what's been going up on Instagram), it's going to be a conveniently quick post about a conveniently quick ready-meal.

It seems that the restaurant chain Wasabi Sushi & Bento have started producing packaged ready-meals, for cooking either in the oven or the microwave and, of the five boxes currently available, I found two options in my local branch of Sainsbury's: Chicken Katsu Curry and Sweet Chilli Chicken. Considering the number of own-brand Chicken Katsu Curries I've picked up in various supermarkets over the years - and having been thoroughly disappointed by all of them - I figured that I owed it to myself to try one that carries the brand of an actual restaurant chain that I frequent.

Approaching it with low expectations, I elected to cook it in my microwave - instructions are given for 700w and 900w, so I had to pick a mid-point for my 800w model - since cooking it in the oven requires one to decant the contents of the plastic packaging within the waxed cardboard box into separate, oven-friendly containers, to be covered over with foil (or lids where available). Since that would only add to the washing up I'd have to do later, the simple act of piercing the film lid and sticking the plastic tub in the microwave seemed like the most logical option.

It takes about 6-7 minutes to cook, and then has to be transferred to a plate, bowl, or my personal preference, the platey-bowl, which is a bit of a mission, as the rice and chicken have to be served up before the sauce can be poured on from the container... This still seems a little faffy for my liking, and I wonder if putting the sauce into a sachet, to be laid over the top of the rice and meat for shipping and storage purposes, might be the better plan. Nevertheless, here's the end result:

The first major difference between this and the average supermarket-bought Chicken Katsu Curry is the presence of large chunks of potato, carrot and onion in the sauce. In most others, there are no solid bits of veg at all and, on those rare occasions they are present, they tend to be fairly small. Straight away, this product looks better than the average supermarket fare.

I must confess that I was a little underwhelmed by the size of the katsu breadcrumb-coated chicken piece, and was a little concerned initially that the portion of rice was also on the small size. Conversely, when the sauce was poured over, it looked as though there was far too much, and that it would swamp the chicken and rice. Upon reflection, I'd say it's not as excessive as I first thought, but I could still stand to lose a few spoonfuls, while the quanity of rice is just right. A bit more chicken wouldn't go amiss, but the overall portion size is pretty good.

As to flavour, I find the sauces in most supermarket ready meals are Katsu Curry flavoured, rather than having the bite and spiciness of a true Katsu Curry. I'm happy to report that this bucks the trend completely. I can't quite remember how it compares to what a Wasabi restaurant would serve, but it's so much better than anything else I've bought from a supermarket. The chunks of veg in the sauce add to the texture and make the overall package that little bit more filling in the absence of a larger portion of meat, and I found this package very satisfying. The rice, sensibly, is plain but cooks very well in the package, while the chicken is prone to drying out at the edges. It doesn't become inedible or rubbery, just more difficult to cut, so perhaps I should try heating the package in two stages, reorienting it on the turntable halfway through.

Weighing in at £4.50 in store, or £4 via the website, it's in the same ballpark as Sainsbury's own 'Taste the Difference' line, but unlike the supposedly high-end own-brand, I really could taste the difference versus Sainsbury's cheaper, own-brand Chicken Katsu Curry tubs.

In fact, it's got me thinking that I should look into Katsu Curry sauces generally - either buying it ready-made or seeking out a recipe - and trying to make something like this myself, it get a better idea of how to get the spiciness just right. The only downside is that Courtney, being veggie, would not appreciate a chicken Katsu, so I'd need to identify an alternative... Perhaps Quorn or Tofu would suffice...

I've also tried Wasabi's Sweet Chilli Chicken box, which is nothing special overall, but the sauce again has a real kick to it. I think I'll need to seek out a bigger branch of Sainsbury's if I want to look at the rest of the line...

Experiments with Gousto #5: Scandi-style Mackerel & Potato Salad with Spinach

The final recipe of the first new Gousto box didn't really require that much actual cooking, and yet I still managed to balls up one of the simpler tasks on my hob. This is partly due to the wonky timings in the recipe - something of a running theme, I'm finding - but mainly due to me splitting my attention between two small tasks that shouldn't have been attempted simultaneously. Nevertheless, this turned out to be a rather anticlimactic finale to my first foray into preparing evening meals for two again.

It probably would have been a lot simpler to break this up into two entirely separate tasks - the potato salad being one, with everything else in the second.  The potato salad is the most complicated task, in that the potatoes have to be chopped in half, then boiled for about a quarter of an hour, then drained and, ideally, allowed to cool. It's entirely possible, given the length of time it generally takes me to chop things, that the whole point of the recipe as it's presented is that you complete step 1 (cooking the potatoes) before even starting on step 2 (preparation of the spinach salad). However, since I wanted to ensure everything was ready ahead of time, I'd chopped the dill, the spring onions, the garlic and the potatoes as one task, a couple of hours earlier than necessary, and put the results back in the fridge till they were needed.

Then again, this particular recipe was a little 'pre-disastered' by the fact that the yoghurt container had apparently exploded in transit. It was in a small, sealed plastic pot - a miniature version of the average yoghurt pot you can buy in a supermarket - contained within a plastic bag of its own. When we unpacked the box all the ingredients came in, the inside of the plastic bag was coated with yoghurt, so the whole thing had to be thrown away. Thankfully we had a large, open container of essentially identical yoghurt already in our fridge, and we had more than the 80g worth required by this recipe. I was a little worried during the last stage of preparing the mustard dressing, in that it initially seemed as though the lemon juice was curdling the yoghurt. Thankfully a good stir sorted that out. The real problem - but still not the balls-up I mentioned at the start - was that the potatoes were still quite warm when I added them to the dressing, so it immediately got thinner and runnier than it should have been.

Where it went undeniably wrong, and mostly down to my mismanagement of the tasks, was with the almond toasting, believe it or not. It should only take about 2-3 minutes according to the recipe, but it was at this point that I realised I hadn't sorted out the mackeral, so I started to remove the skin and flake the fish while the almonds were still on the hob, resulting in a selection of flakes ranging from 'lightly brown and toasted' to 'utterly burnt'. Next time I do this - and there almost certainly will be a next time for such a simple and delicious meal - I'll make breaking up the mackerel one of the first tasks because, once flaked, it can be put back in the fridge till it's needed. I'll also be sure to boil the potatoes further ahead of time so they have a chance to properly cool, and possibly put them in the fridge at that stage, rather than just after chopping them. Everything else is quick and simple - preparing the entire meal is timed at about 20 minutes, after all - though I reckon a more generous portion of mackerel would improve it no end. The other issue is that the spinach salad seems like a bit of an afterthought - a plate-filler - compared to everything else. It's literally just baby spinach drizzled with olive oil, then seasoned with salt and pepper. A more complicated dressing may have helped but, obviously, you wouldn't want it to clash with the mustard dressing in the potato salad.

The next batch of Gousto recipes arrived yesterday, and I've prepared the first of them already... but expect a slight delay in posting about it as I'm trying to get other stuff done in the meantime.

I just hope I don't leave it too long, resulting in another batch of drafts that I can't finish...

Birds Eye "Stir Your Senses" Tagliatelle con Porcini

Having singularly failed to note the sixth anniversary of this blog (12th September), despite setting a reminder in my phone and receiving several prompts from my girlfriend, I actually have a good opportunity for a quick post this evening. Courtney would normally be out at a Slimming World meeting on a Monday evening, so there's a good chance there will be several ready meal/quick snack posts coming up (not to mention an under-discussion post about Slimming World, if only so I can joke at length about how it comes across as some kind of cult whenever anyone I know talks about it, and there are quite a few Slimming Worlders at work).

The upshot of this is that I was recently vaguely organised and picked myself up one of Birds Eye's new "Stir Your Senses" collection - a range of seven ready-to-cook-from-frozen, bagged meals for one which take about ten minutes (or less) to cook. Given that I generally get home too late to start cooking anything substantial from scratch, that's a very tempting prospect, and I'm always happy to try out something that purports to go from freezer to plate in a very short time and by a very simple process. That is, after all, just one raison d'être for this blog.

According to the packaging, this particular bag invites one to "Be inspired by the truly magical tastes of Tuscany. Our chefs have combined ribbons of fresh egg pasta in a delicately light creamy sauce and the earthy richness of porcini and champignon mushrooms". The cooking process described is nothing more than emptying the contents of the bag into a non-stick pan or wok with two or three tablespoons of water, heating on high until the frozen bricks of sauce begin to melt, then turning the heat down for the remainder of the 7-8 minutes cooking time. The full duration depends mostly on how thick one wants the sauce to be or, at least, a fine balance between that and how hungry one is to begin with. The most complicated part is remembering to keep stirring once the sauce has fully melted, lest the pasta start to stick to the outer edges of the pan/wok. Once the desired consistency of sauce it achieved, the contents of the pan are simply decanted onto the desired receptacle for eating.

I have to say I was very surprised by this - not only was the process of cooking it precisely as quick and simple as the packaging suggests - granted, it's only barely more involved than simply chucking something into the oven for a few minutes at a particular temperature, but it's been a while since I've done much of anything in the kitchen - but it didn't take much effort to ensure it didn't go horribly wrong. I was worried initially that some of it might burn at (or to) the bottom of the pan before the rest had even thawed, but a small amount of stirring kept everything under control. Not only that, but it was a remarkably tasty meal - one tends to expect that mushrooms, in particular, cooked from frozen, will be soggy and pretty much flavourless, but the subtly nutty flavour was not overwhelmed by the plentiful and creamy sauce and their texture retained a certain firmness. The real hero of the dish, though, was the onion, which offset the sweetness of the sauce and added a pleasant bite. If I had a complaint, it would be that the size of this 'Meal for 1' was rather smaller than I'd prefer, but I know I tend to be a bit of a porker. It's likely a healthier portion size than I'd serve myself if I was cooking something like this from scratch.

Looking over the rest of the range, there aren't many others that I'm especially keen to try - "chef inspired" they may be (whatever that's supposed to mean), but they're not incredibly varied or imaginative. Four are Italian-styled pasta-based dishes, the other three involve chicken and one of those adds prawns - one of my culinary bêtes noires. Nevertheless, they have apparently been awarded 'Product of the Year' in a 2016 consumer survey of product innovation, and it's not hard to see why - the simple presentation (bagged rather than boxed, making them somewhat more convenient to store in the freezer compartment of an average fridge freezer) along with the fact that it's so simple to prepare and so surprisingly tasty mean that such plaudits are well-deserved. I'd certainly grab one of these again if I need a quick dinner, and may yet try other options in the range.

I'll also add this to the list of meals I'd like to try cooking from scratch, at some point...

Morrisons Kitchen Made to Share Selection

Well, who'd have thought it? Another Thursday, another post about guilty pleasure foodstuffs. Generous readers might be tempted to credit me with foresight, or think I actually planned this.

Truth be told, when I picked out a selection of (reasonably) quick and easy things from the Made to Share range at my local Morrisons, my girlfriend did suggest I could write it up for this 'ere blog but, since the last choice in my "3 for £5" selection was their Smoky BBQ Mini Ribs, there seemed a strong chance I was in for a very disappointing meal and I'd basically decided there would be no write-up. After all, long-term readers if this humble blog will know that my experience with ribs in the UK has been decidedly mixed.

The full Made to Share snack dinner I cooked just for myself this evening, aside from the ribs, featured the amusingly alliterative BBQ Pulled Pork Pockets and the old favourite Loaded Potato Skins. Setting them all up to cook should have been very easy, but my attention lapsed on the final stage and, having timed everything carefully up to that point (25 minutes for the ribs on their own, adding the potato skins for two minutes, then finally adding the pockets for the remaining 13 minutes of the 40 minute total) I neglected to activate the kitchen timer and had to guess when the final 13 minutes had elapsed. If anything, it all stayed in the oven a little too long, though. On the upside, I did notice that the instructions for the ribs state that they should be allowed to stand for a minute before serving. I doubt that's where I've gone wrong in the past, but it's something I'll look out for in future.

As far as the Loaded Potato Skins go, there's really not much to say... They never work especially well when home-cooked, often sticking to the baking tray and splitting apart when removed. They're ultimately just slightly hollowed out thick slices of potato filled with cheese and bacon and, in the case of this package, supplied with a soured cream and garlic dip. This kind of this is good and filling, but never really outstanding in any way.

The BBQ Pulled Pork Pockets were something reasonably new... kind of like miniature Cornish pasties, but filled only with pulled pork. I can't say the BBQ aspect was particularly impressive, but the pockets were at least properly full... if rather small. Probably the most outstanding feature of the pack was that it contained nine pockets - I guess they're acknowledging that a pack of these might actually be bought as part of a selection to be shared between three people, rather than the more usual two or four...

And so we come to the ribs... which were actually pretty good. Each rib had a decent quantity of meat attached and I didn't find any large blobs of gristle or fat (though there were one or two bone fragments). The meat looked good - with none of the rubberiness, toughness or over-dryness that can occur with supermarket ribs - and, while it didn't actually melt off the bone, it tasted more or less as I'd expect pork ribs to taste. The sauce was even fairly impressive for a supermarket own-brand product - not the strong barbecue taste that I prefer, but certainly not the disappointing non-flavour that is so often applied to this kind of thing. It was possibly a little oversweet, given the lack of full-on smoky flavour, but it wasn't sickly. Had I actually set them out in a more sensible ovenproof container than the small, circular Pyrex bowl I pulled out of the cupboard, so that they were all laid out flat rather than jumbled up, and given equal access to the sauce, they might even have turned out the way they look on the packaging photograph. As it was, the sauce didn't have much of a chance to crisp up anywhere. It did actually adhere to the ribs fairly well, though, and I didn't have to scoop the sauce out of the bowl to drizzle it over any of the ribs.

So while I was expecting something bland and disappointing, what I got actually went some way towards restoring my faith in supermarket ribs... and, having tried Iceland's Jim Beam chicken tenders, I'm far more inclined to give the boozy-sauce-enhanced ribs a try than I was before this evening.

Iceland Let's Eat American Loaded Burger with Pulled Pork & BBQ Sauce

One of the guilty pleasures of the occasional evening when my girlfriend goes out is the option to eat something quick and dirty. More often than not, I've tended to pop to one of the local takeaways, or the local KFC but, since the latter recently gave me a case of food poisoning that lasted through at least half my recent holiday to Chicago, I'm starting to think better of all that.

Yet, still, the urge to have something quick and dirty is strong, almost undeniable... and so, while trawling my local Iceland for something vaguely sensible (their Pizza Pala range, while currently small, is worth a look), my wandering eye alighted upon a selection called Let's Eat American. Having only recently been in that very country, you can imagine my curiosity was piqued. There's quite a variety of products in this line, but there's nothing quicker or dirtier than a burger that you cook in the microwave.

Nothing, that is, other than a burger with pulled pork slapped on top that you cook in a microwave.

The product comes in a (frankly, oversized) cardboard box containing two separate bags - one with the burger and pork in a plastic tray, the other with the ready-cut sesame seed bun - which must be irradiated separately, the former taking four minutes, the latter a mere thirty seconds. After that, it's just a case of opening the bags, removing their contents, and throwing them together.

The result is, naturally, nothing like the picture on the box. For starters, the edges of the burger/pork crisp up and stick to the sides of the tray, so it doesn't look as moist or appetising as the promotional image. There's also some weird, gelatinous stuff in there which I generously presumed to be some sort of cheese component. The packaging does describe the contents as "A cooked quarter pounder beefburger, topped with a BBQ flavour sauce, pulled pork, fried onions and grated red Cheddar cheese", but it's clearly a miserly quantity of cheese that ends up as a mildly disturbing goop that's not even plentiful enough to ooze convincingly... it just sort of lurks, looking unappetising. And, if there are fried onions in there, I can't say I encountered any... but then, in all honesty, I can't say I encountered anything "BBQ flavour" either.

The pork itself is not bad, but it certainly lacks flavour - and not just the BBQ flavour of the questionable sauce. The texture is good and, for something that's been microwaved from frozen, it was nice to see it didn't turn out too soggy or too dry - microwaving frequently goes one way or the other, and it's very difficult to fine-tune the timings for a better result. The burger, meanwhile, was decidedly average for this type of product... which is to say of limited flavour, dubious texture, and with a quantity of gristle/bone flecks sufficient to make the likes of me wary of the next bite.

That said, for a mere £1.50, it's not offensively bad - the burger is certainly a decent size (slightly larger than the bun, in fact) and the quantity of pulled pork is reasonable - but given the underwhelming flavour and the typically rubbery nature of the microwaved bun, this isn't a product I'll be picking up again in a hurry.

Chicken Tenders with Jim Beam

Say what you will about Iceland in general, they do manage to get some quite interesting exclusive products. I haven't visited my local store in ages but, in the run-up to Christmas, with their ramped-up advertising (always hindered by the obligatory b-list 'celeb' - currently Peter Andre - intended, no doubt, to add some form of glamour to the proceedings) my girlfriend and I decided to pop over for some freezable Christmas foodstuffs, so we wouldn't have to worry so much about shopping for fresh stuff - or doing proper cooking - this weekend and over the Christmas period. What with visiting both sides of the family while I'm away from work, I think we've got things planned out pretty well - including an original (yet wholly predictable) take on our Chrimbletide dinner.

While perusing the selection at Iceland, I noticed almost an entire freezer cabinet devoted to boxes featuring the Jim Beam logo and, while I'm not necessarily the biggest fan of bourbon - if I'm going to drink whiskey, I tend to prefer the Scottish kind - my previous encounter with a bourbon sauce was exceedingly pleasant. I didn't immediately pick up a box of these tenders because they didn't really fit with my Christmas plans and my freezer space is very limited. Picking them up was more of a "what the hell, why not?" moment, since I occasionally need a meaty accompaniment to one of the vegetarian dishes my girlfriend cooks.

I'd have to say that the breaded chicken is nothing to write home about - this ain't no KFC-style herb and spice fest - and the 380g box contains only seven or eight of them. They're a decent size, but the packaging's claim that it serves two is either very optimistic, or assuming use as a starter or as part of a larger main course.

Or maybe I'm still recovering from American portions, following my recent holiday in Los Angeles..?

The Jim Beam sauce is the only thing that raises this package anywhere above 'decidedly plain', and it raises it a hell of a way. The moment the sauce sachet is opened, you'll get a whiff of the boozy barbecue sauce and, if that's the sort of thing you like, this is sure to be a winner. It brings that familiar warming sensation from the first scent, yet retains the classic spicy, smoky fruitiness of a good barbecue sauce. In that sense, it's probably a good thing that the chicken is so plain, since strongly seasoned meat/breadcrumb would get in the way of the sauce.

I poured the sauce all over my chicken tenders but, upon reflection, suspect I may have been better off decanting the sauce into a pot - as illustrated by the packaging - and simply dipping the tenders. Thinking back to my holiday, one of the meals which defeated me was a plate stacked high with chicken tenders, which was served with (if I remember correctly) mashed potato and corn succotash... that sort of thing would go very well with this product, so I may be tempted to pick up another box once the freezer has cleared out a bit after Christmas.

There are a few other items in the range which look appealing - the ribs in particular, though if I do end up trying them, I fully expect it to be due to a triumph of optimism over experience. Watch this space.

On the other hand, since Jim Beam produce barbecue sauces separately, maybe I'll just get some of that...

Fishcake Roundup

I have a funny relationship with fishcakes.

And when I say "funny", I mean either they're completely underwhelming or they make me unwell.

But, what's important here is that I don't let that put me off fishcakes. I keep trying them. And so, here's a post about a pair options from The Saucy Fish Co's new range of 'Saucy Centres' fishcakes!

Salmon and Hollandaise
Described as 'Succulent salmon and cod with a creamy Hollandaise sauce bound up with real mash in a crumbly golden coating', these weren't so much underwhelming as a clear disappointment. First off, the ratio of salmon to cod is very much in favour of the cod, almost to the point where it's pretty misleading to call them 'Salmon and Hollandaise Fishcakes'. Even the image on the box shows very little salmon in comparison to the rest of the filling. Worse than that, though, the cod plays second fiddle to the mash. Granted, that's par for the course with fishcakes these days - what was once included for binding purposes has become almost the main ingredient, simply because it makes them cheaper to produce.

The worst aspect of this fishcake is the Hollandaise sauce. I have to confess that I bought the two different kinds of fishcake listed here at the same time, and wasn't really paying attention when I decided to cook these ones first. I knew one had a cheesy sauce and, to be honest, when I was eating these, I assumed I was experiencing one of the most disappointing cheese sauces I've ever encountered. It was only later, when I looked at the packaging again, that I found I had experienced the most flavourless Hollandaise sauce I've ever encountered.

These are a great idea, but the lack of the alleged prime ingredient pretty much ruins the execution.

Smoked Haddock and Davidstow Cheddar
The moment I opened the package, I knew I was dealing with smoked haddock - the aroma is unmistakeable... and reminded me how much I enjoy smoked haddock. Just like the salmon version above, the packaging doesn't show off a mass of haddock pieces and, sadly, the photograph is accurate. Once cooked, the smell of haddock is dramatically reduced, and the flavour is all but overwhelmed by the mash.

When I wrote about The Saucy Fish Co's basic packaged smoked haddock fillet with Davistow cheddar sauce, I noted that the sauce was disappointingly light on apparent cheese flavour. There was some improvement in these fish cakes - the sauce does add to the experience, but it's still nothing special.

Again, it feels like these were made to fit a very strict budget, with mashed potato being the main constituent. It is great mash, but it should only be there to bind the fishcake together, not as a cheap filler.

My area doesn't offer a great range of Saucy Fish Co. products and, while none of the options I've tried have been outright terrible, some of them have been quite disappointing. I like the idea of a piece of fish coming packaged with its ideal accompanying sauce, but when that sauce is underwhelming, the whole product suffers. Their fish fillets can be a little on the small size, but the fish content of these fishcakes is shamefully low, and neither sauce really added a great deal to the experience.

There seems to be a bit of a trend at the moment of putting sauce inside a product (did it start with the likes of Gü puddings, or were similar things available before they sprang up? Could it perhaps be said that these fishcakes were inspired by jam doughnuts?) and, while I like the idea - because it generally means less mess when cooking, unless the product splits open - the end result never quite meets the expectation.

On the upside, neither of these fishcakes ended up making me ill, so they have restored a small measure of my faith in fishcakes...

Quick Joint Roundup

And after cupcakes, nothing says "Sorry for continuing to neglect you like the very bad person I am" like... er... great slabs of meat?

Following my thoroughly delicious experience with a Waitrose beef brisket and a thrilling exercise in using up the leftovers, I have revisited Waitrose every so often, picking up both more of the same and experimenting with other options in their range of slow cooked packaged meats. Some have been better than others (the beef brisket is hard to beat, to be honest) but there's one nagging concern with all of them: they're pretty expensive, averaging about £7 - £9 based on weight.

Now that I know I like that kind of thing - and, more importantly, can actually eat a whole one over the course of a couple of days if not in one sitting - there are other shops selling similar things, equally worthy of a sampling... And so, here we have a roundup of the joints I've tried, and which joints I found 'em in:

Sainsbury's 'Just Cook' Spiced Lamb Shoulder with Pomegranate Blossom Honey Glaze
Straight off the bat, I need to point out that I failed to notice the large bone visible in the packaging photo and entirely failed to consider that a 'lamb shoulder' might actually involve bone. I am not a fan of meat on the bone because bone - all too often - means gristle and other such unpalatable rubbish. On the upside, that was certainly not the case with this product.

To be honest, I probably only picked this up because 'Pomegranate Blossom Honey Glaze' just sounds ridiculously pretentious and specific. Does honey even get that specific? (Perhaps I should learn to Google before asking such silly questions because obviously, it does) Thing is, whenever a really impressive sounding glaze is added to meat, it generally doesn't have a particularly great effect... I mean, it's a glaze. It sits on top. If you're lucky.

I'm also not a great fan of Lamb, finding the taste bordering on unpleasant at the best of times, though a joint is a very different thing to the sort of mince they put in a shepherd's pie. It has been so long since I had, for example, slices of roast lamb (positively drenched in mint sauce to disguise the flavour) for a Sunday dinner, so I figured it would be worth giving this product a try, just to be sure.

Like several other joints I've picked up recently, this comes bagged in a helping of its juices, supposedly to help with cooking, and a separate sachet of glaze to be added towards the end of the cooking time. The instructions are simple enough - cut open the main bag and decant the joint and juices into a roasting tin or casserole dish, cook for 40 minutes, add the glaze, then cook for the remaining ten minutes. There is a small but key difference between this and the instructions given on the products below: this one doesn't mention tipping away the juices before adding the glaze - all the others do. The net result of this was that I ended up with a very thin layer of glaze over parts of the joint, while the bulk of the glaze ran uselessly into the dish, there to mingle with the juices.

On the upside, the meat was tender and succulent and, where the glaze remained, it made a fairly tasty addition to meat that tasted almost exactly as I remember it. The whole thing almost literally fell off the bone, with remarkably little wastage due to fatty bits and absolutely no gristle. Filter all of the negative comments here through the fact that I admit to disliking lamb and, if you like lamb, you'll almost certainly like this.

530g @ £6

'The Butcher's Selection at Asda' Sticky BBQ Beef Brisket
I find it immediately intriguing that beef gets a 'sticky' BBQ sauce and pork (below) gets a 'sweet' BBQ sauce. Are the two now mutually exclusive, or must one choose only the most prominent quality to include in the name and/or description?

Well, I'll get to something approaching the reasoning for these subgroupings of BBQ a little later... For now, I'd just like to give Asda credit where credit's due, because they say quite plainly on their packaging "Prime brisket with added water for extra succulence". Here's the thing: these days, I think we all know that supermarkets add water to their meats (or milk in the case of chicken), not so much to bring out the best in them, but to give the punters what they expect - decent, succulent meat - at prices that won't make them feel hard done by. On the flipside, I'm not sure anyone expects the supermarkets to openly admit it any further than they already do (which is to say, not very far and not very often), so for Asda to open their description with that phrase, placed right under the name of the product, is both brave and smart... especially in the wake of the 'horsemeat scandal'.

Now, I've ranted on before about the concept of 'barbecue' or 'BBQ' and the way it invariably just means slathering it with some variant on HP Sauce rather than anything tasting truly 'barbecued'. Any aficionado of the open barbecue scene will tell you that, without some kind of seasoning or glaze, cooking meat on a barbecue doesn't actually affect the flavour that dramatically, and the kinds of sauce folks insist on piling on will invariably be mustard or ketchup, so the idea of 'barbecue sauce' is all kinds of bizarre anyway.

However, there are ways of doing it right, and I'm pleased to report that this is one such example.

The packaging for this has a photographic example of the brisket within, neatly sliced and drizzed with the sauce, but I just went with the easy option in serving this up - I shredded it with a pair of forks. Since careful planning of a main course just ain't my thing, the meat was served up with my usual accompaniment - mixed veg (microwaved from frozen) and potato waffles. From the first mouthful, I was more than pleasantly surprised - the glaze has a rich, fruity, powerfully spicy flavour. So spicy, in fact, that I ended up getting the kind of head sweat that's normally associated with a good curry. Even after the temperature of the meat began to cool, the glaze kept up its own warming sensation all the way.

While the sauce wasn't especially sticky - perhaps it could have done with a little longer in the oven? - the flavour was very impressive. I many never fully understand this concept of 'barbecue sauce', but I can certainly appreciate a good one! What's more, whenever I buy a joint of meat, I expect a certain amount of wastage due to great chunks of fat. This joint was surprisingly lean considering its price.

400g @ £3 (2 for £6 offer)

'The Butcher's Selection at Asda' Sweet BBQ Pulled Pork
In many ways, there's not a great deal to add here, after the beef version above. Obviously, the meat is different, and so the flavour and texture aren't going to be identical... but the main difference is in the sauce.

The difference seems to be that the emphasis in the 'sticky' glaze is on spiciness, while the emphasis in the 'sweet' glaze is far more subtle and tending more toward fruity. I guess the rationale is that pork is often served with a fruity accompaniment (apple sauce, for example) whereas beef tends to come with something spicier (mustard or, more traditionally, horseradish).

As far as quality of meat goes, pork joints do tend to be less lean than beef - almost making a virtue of their vast tracts of fat and, granted, for some pork roasts, that can be a good thing (my father will always sing the praises of "a nice bit of cracklin'."... then again, he'll also wax lyrical about beef drippin' at any opportunity). It's less desirable in this sort of thing, so I was pleasantly surprised to find far less fatty stuff to dispose of than I'd expected.

Amusingly, the photo on the packaging depicts the product shredded and served in sub rolls with leafy, salady stuff... though I ended up sticking this with my usual mixed veg and couple of hash browns. It later occurred to me that it would have been suited to things like corn on the cob (preferably roasted and generously buttered). I used just over half the pork for dinner and refrigerated the remainder, reheating it the next day to pile into a sandwich for lunch.

Like the beef above, I suspect it could have done with a bit longer in the oven, to ensure the glaze properly glazed... or at least that it might have done better if it had been spread out in a larger container. As it was, though, it turned out pretty good... though my personal preference is for the beef version.

380g @ £3 ('Roll Back' from £4, allegedly)

'The Butcher's Selection at Asda' Bourbon Beef Brisket
I left this one for last because I'm a horrible tease. While I've been very impressed with all three of the Asda options I've tried thusfar, this one is undoubtedly and unequivocally the best. Obviously, the meat is basically the same as with the Sticky BBQ Beef Brisket above (even down to having its 'added water for extra succulence' declared on the packaging), so it's really only the sauce that makes the difference. When I said the Sticky BBQ sauce was [whatever], I really meant it... But the sauce that comes with this one is in a completely different league.

As with both of the previous Asda options, I ended up shredding the meat after draining the juices - slicing it does seem like an awful faff when you're working with a tiny casserole dish. The first thing that hit me, the moment I opened the sauce sachet, was how potent the bourbon sauce was. The smell of it quite literally slapped me about the face. I had to check the ingredients list to confirm that, yes, they've used real bourbon whiskey (making up a positively scandalous 6%, according to the listing) because if an artificial bourbon flavouring had this kind of effect, it'd be the abso-fucking-lutely most impressive bourbon flavouring I've ever encountered.

But what effect am I blathering about? OK, if you've ever drunk whiskey, you'll know what I'm about to describe here... if you haven't... well, seriously, try some. You may not like it, but you'll certainly never forget it!

When you pour yourself a good dram (because any self-respecting whiskey drinker would never settle for anything less than a good dram, and it's a scientifically precise measure, obviously), and you bring the glass close to your lips, and you catch that first breath of whiskey vapour, there's a pleasant burning sensation. The moment you open your mouth, edging the glass ever closer, that sensation is amplified as the vapour hits your tongue and the roof of your mouth. For some, it's an almost erotic warmth... for others, it'll just set them off coughing. That, gentle reader, is the effect I'm blathering about, and that is the effect I got from this small sachet of sauce.

For reals, people.

I managed just enough self-restraint to pour the entire sachet over the drained meat, mix it in - all the while breathing that damn-near aphrodisiac vapour - and slam it back into the oven for the last five minutes. When it came out, the smell was still there, virtually unaffected by the high temperature of the oven.

Now... I'm embarrassed to admit that I was unprepared for this level of culinary delight, and my idea had been to just dump a load of the shredded, glazed meat into a couple of buns I had lying around in my breadbin. I paused, considering the injustice I was about to heap upon this sticky, boozy, beefy delight, even as I heaped it into the buns...

But I had nothing else prepared...

I've since picked up another of these (the last one on the shelves at my last visit) and will endeavour to serve it up with something a bit more impressive next time... I'm thinking something a bit on the leafy side and some corn on the cob, smothered with butter.

Do yourself a favour, splash out three pounds on one of these boxes. Each one would serve two if shredded (three or four assuming smaller appetites or lots of accompanying veg), and possibly more if sliced efficiently. That first Waitrose brisket I tried was good... but compared to this - significantly cheaper - option from Asda, it's actually pretty dull. This Bourbon Beef Brisket is easily one of the finest things I have ever purchased in a supermarket.

400g @ £3

So, there's the roundup. Four products, and one clear winner. Not only that, it's changed my opinion on (a) Supermarket food generally and (b) Asda specifically. My nearest Asda of a decent size is a 2-zone train ride away, but that's a journey I'll willingly and happily make if it means I can do a cheap weekly shop including products like these. While I have endeavoured to scoff an entire portion in one sitting, the Sweet BBQ Pork was both the meat component of a normal dinner and a sandwich filling the next day. At £3 each, they present excellent value for a dinner... but when they can be stretched out for a couple of days, their value for money is increased.

Or, since I seem to be in an alliterative frame of mind right now, 'many meaty morsels, but the bourbon beef brisket is the best of the bunch'.

Sainsbury's 'Italian': Spinach & Ricotta Tortelloni and Tomato & Basil Sauce

Normally, I tend to avoid pasta dishes that aren't basically ready-meals because they always seem like such a waste of effort to make, since the timings tend to be so delicate that each component has to be dealt with separately yet simultaneously. Such concerns tend to become less important when (a) I just really fancy some pasta and (b) such products are on special offer.

Just to keep things simple, rather than use two different saucepans and deal with the resultant extra washing up, I decided to take advantage of the microwave option for the sauce. This turned out to be quite a worrying option, because the microwave started to sound as though it was possessed - thumping and groaning for no obvious reason (the hissing could be explained - lots of steam came out of the tub) - and, predictably, the sauce did start to spit out all over the interior. Still, it was easy enough getting it heated up - requiring only a bit of stirring halfway through - and my microwave didn't explode, so I'd call that a win, overall.

The tortelloni was of the 'fresh' variety, which is to say it wasn't completely dried out or frozen, so that was equally quick to prepare - a saucepan of water (plus salt and, strangely, olive oil, as recommended by instructions) brought to the boil before adding the pasta, then just stirred around as it simmers for less than five minutes. Then it just needed to be drained, dumped out onto a plate, and then slathered in the sauce.

I had a feeling when I bought these two that the sauce was something of a mismatch to the pasta, and that could well be the case. It didn't completely overpower the pasta, but it was very strong and sweet compared to the more subtle flavour of the spinach and ricotta filling. I suspect something lighter, possibly cheesier, might have been more appropriate, but the tomato and basil sauce was the only one available on the shelves at the time.

Another drawback to the sauce was that it was quite oily - it had a very visible sheen in the pot. Sure enough, just like the Lentil & Bean soup I wrote up recently, olive oil is listed as an ingredient. With this one, however, it's third on the list, and there's no percentage shown to give some idea of how much is in there. I'd guesstimate that it's a significantly higher proportion for one main reason: the soup didn't set off my stomach acid afterward... this sauce did. A lot.

Still, it's not bad, just something I need to be a bit more cautious about next time... I used the whole 300g pack of tortelloni and about three quarters of the 350g tub of sauce and, to be honest, that was probably a bit much. A bit more of the former, and the whole of the latter could have made two portions though, bizarrely, the pack states that 300g is pasta "for 2", so I can only presume it's supposed to be served with more than just a sauce.

On that note, it's worth pointing out that the packaging offers no 'serving suggestions' - no recommendation is made for a sauce or anything else to accompany the pasta, and the photo on the main label simply depicts the main ingredients. Unless you know your pasta dishes, this is liable to leave you as puzzled as I was.

Of course, it's just possible that I should have searched the internet before lumping these two products together, since it was only my assumption - based on the in-store special offer - that led me to conclude they could/should go together.

Ah, well... You live and learn, eh?

The Saucy Fish Co. Sea Bass Fillet with Beurre Blanc & Dill Sauce

When I picked up a couple of The Saucy Fish Co. options at my local supermarket, I managed to write up the smoked haddock fairly quickly. It had always been my intention to write about this one soon after but, for whatever reason, I kept putting it off. So long, in fact, that I had to buy another just to remind myself what it actually tasted like... and even then, I've left it a good two or three weeks after eating it before buckling down... I wonder if that's a subconscious review, in itself...

What you get for your money in this package is a decent portion of sea bass and a fairly large sachet of the Beurre Blanc and sill sauce. This sauce, says the packaging, can be served hot or cold... though, since it's being added to hot fish, it's not as if it's going to stay cold for long, even if you choose not to actively heat it (1 minute in a cup of boiling water) beforehand.

Interestingly, this particular product can be pan fried, oven baked or grilled, making it a very adaptable bit of fish. Even better, the slowest method - oven baking - still only takes about 15 minutes at most, so you're assured of a very quick meal. However you choose to cook it, the fish is light and tasty.

The sauce was rather a surprise to me... since it's called 'beurre blanc', I was expecting something plain and buttery, with the dill adding most of the flavour. Perhaps I should have paid attention to the ingredients list... What I actually got was a piquant sauce that very much had a flavour of its own - so much so, that I barely noticed the presence of dill. Most of the sharpness, I'd guess, came from the combination of white wine vinegar and lemon juice. Definitely a pleasant surprise, when one is expecting a mouthful fish and mostly bland, creamy sauce.

The only significant downside is that, considering the three suggested preparation methods, and The Saucy Fish Co.'s raison d'être - matching fish to its most complementary sauce - it's somewhat disappointing that they don't also offer serving suggestions. By default, I tend to add mixed (frozen) veg and either chips or potato waffles to my dinners to round them out... somehow that just didn't seem appropriate to this fish, though, and couldn't be bothered to trawl though the interwebs for ideas (tip: new potatoes, mash, roasted tomatoes and/or green beans seem to be popular choices).

Around my area, The Saucy Fish Co.'s products tend to be on a permanent '2 for £5' offer, when I can actually find them, so I tend to pick up one of these and one of the haddock option every time I see them. They're a good product, well-priced and those I've seen tend to be of a reasonable size for the money (except the salmon - that really is miserly!)

The Saucy Fish Co. Smoked Haddock with Davidstow Cheddar & Chive Sauce

Regular readers may recall that, while this is the first time I'm trying an actual Saucy Fish Co. product, their advertising gave me an idea way back in January of this year. At that time, they were advertising quite prolifically, but their products weren't widely available in my neck of the woods.

More recently, a meagre selection of their fish-and-sauce packages have turned up on local shelves, so I figured it was only fair to give them a try. One observation I'd make straight off the bat is that the so-called 'salmon steak' that comes with their chilli, ginger and lime sauce is basically the size of a fish finger. I know good salmon is expensive, but that's just insulting, even as part of a 2 for £5 deal at Sainsbury's.

I picked up both of the other options on offer, this smoked haddock (an old family favourite that I haven't had in quite some time) and a sea bass fillet with another, similarly cheesy sauce. Their concept is just that simple, in their own words: "When you fancy a nice bit of fish, you want the right sauce to go with it. So we've matched our top-quality fillets with a delicious sauce inside an oven-ready bag - for a lip-smacking fish-dish that's ready before you know it."

Ignoring the way my teeth grated at a sentence begun with a redundant and superfluous "so", this particular package is somewhat like the Birds Eye "Bake to Perfection" range in that everything is contained within a bag that you literally just stick in the oven for about a quarter of an hour. They even go so far as to add a serving suggestions - creamy mash and peas, in this case - to make things easier still. Allergens are listed alongside the ingredients, though I'm tempted to suggest that 'fish' is a somewhat superfluous addition to that list. Then again, this is the age in which a fast-food restaurant can be sued for not warning a customer that it's fresh coffee was hot, so perhaps they're being prudent.

While their portion of salmon was miserly, the haddock fillet in this was a normal-sized thing, so I have no complaints there. In fact, the fillet was larger than the bag, and so had been folded over itself. Not ideal for something being cooked in a bag, but it worked well enough. The sauce in this isn't so much a sauce as it is a herb-y butter and, where supermarket own-brands and the likes of Birds Eye would tend to give you just one medium-sized 'knob' of their butter, The Saucy Fish Co. pull out all the stops and add four or five smaller servings which rattle about the fish in the bag. The end result seems to be more than the usual amount of sauce, but its appearance is nothing like the photograph on the packaging.

What the photo shows is a smoked haddock fillet topped with a thick, opaque sauce, something akin to the Mornay sauce used for Croque Madame Muffins. What you actually get - pretty much as I expected - is a runny, mostly transparent melted-butter-with-herbs affair. Some of the Davidstow Cheddar seems to stick to the bag and is rather difficult to remove while it's hot.

So, ultimately, this saucy fish was a bit of a let-down. Make no mistake, the fish is excellent, and the sauce does taste good... but the end result is not dissimilar enough to a regular smoked haddock fillet that's been slathered with butter and topped with herbs - the cheese component is barely there.

That having been said, once again, The Saucy Fish Co. has inspired me to try making something from scratch, adapting the Mornay sauce recipe to use Cheddar and the herbs, etc. listed in the ingredients, hopefully resulting in something that looks much more like the photo on the packaging.

I guess that's a success of a kind...

Uncle Ben's Chilli Con Carne Sauce

OK, I'm playing it safe again.

In many ways, this is going to be a rinse-and-repeat of the Spaghetti Bolognese writeup, because it's essentially frying some minced beef, then adding a ready-made sauce. Hum.

To make it a bit more interesting, therefore, I'm going to link to a proper Chilli recipe (once it's available) used by a friend who's a real American-style Chilli connoisseur, for the sake of comparison.

Ingredients:

• Uncle Ben's Chilli Con Carne Sauce (1 jar is enough for anywhere between 2-4 people)
• Minced Beef (approx 300g is recommended by the instructions on the jar. Fresh is always preferable, but I've tended to use frozen, from Iceland)
• Grated Cheese (optional)

Preparation Time: About 10 minutes!

Tools Required:

• Medium-sized Saucepan (or Frying Pan)
• Stirring Implement
• 1 Burner on your Hob

The Process:
Set your chosen pan on the hob on a high setting. Add the beef, and keep it moving as it browns. There's rarely any need for extra oil, because the beef will probably contain more than enough fat. It should only take about five minutes to brown 300g, even from frozen.

Once all the beef is evenly cooked, tip in the jar of sauce, which already contains the beans, peppers and onions so, unless you're really desperate for something that's not included (mushrooms, perhaps?), there's no need to add anything else. Just keep it moving, and wait for it to start bubbling.

While this is going on, make ready with whatever extras you'll be serving along with your chilli. Tortillas and dips are always fun (and tend to be nicer when it's all served up fresh together - few things are worse than the way far too many restaurants serve chilli'n'tortillas, which ends up as a soggy, congealed lump before you're halfway through), but Uncle Ben's also have a Spicy Mexican style rice in their Express range of microwave-cooked rices. Serve up in a bowl, and top with grated cheese if required.

The Results:
I have to say, as someone who has only recently started eating chilli, I really rather liked this. The spiciness is spot on for my tastebuds, and the proportions of beans, peppers and onions in the sauce are most agreeable. Even my chilli connoisseur friend was surprised when, after a mere 10 minutes in the kitchen, I presented her with a bowl of chilli this good.

Serving it with tortillas and dips is probably the best route (though I wasn't able to find any sour cream at short notice, so we had to make do with guacamole), and I did find that the Uncle Ben's Spicy Mexican rice was perhaps a little too spicy to work as a good accompaniment to this dish - one effectively cancelled out the other. Topping with grated cheese does add to the experience, but Cheddar is probably not the right choice - it doesn't melt quickly enough, even when added to the chilli bowl immediately after serving. Something like Monterey Jack might be a better fit, as it melts more easily and its flavour isn't as intrusive on the chilli.

Dolmio Days

(AKA: Spag Bol - It Had To Happen Eventually!)

It has been my impression for many years that Spaghetti Bolognese is basically the staple food of single men. Many a time, at work, I'd overhear guys discussing their plans for dinner (at home) after work and, when it wasn't takeaway (Chinese/Indian predominately), it always seemed to be 'Spag Bol'.

It's also something I grew up enjoying fairly regularly (up until the previously mentioned BSE scare) and so, when beef returned to my personal menu, it seemed inevitable that I'd have to try my hand at Spag Bol myself... But I figured that baby steps were in order, and elected to try some of the ready-made sauces available these days.

Of course, the funniest thing about Spag Bol - and particularly Dolmio's 'Italian Muppets' advertising, asking "when's-a your Dolmio Day?" - is that Spaghetti Bolognese as we know it in the UK is about as far from traditional Italian food as you can get while still using ingredients often found in traditional Italian food. Outside Italy, 'Bolognese sauce' tends to be tomato-based, and usually served with minced beef. Proper Bolognese sauce is meat-based... and more often served with tagliatelle, or in a lasagne, while Spaghetti tends to be served with meatballs rather than mince.

So... Where to begin this pseudo-Italiana?

Ingredients:

• Spaghetti (approx 75g per person seems to be the norm, but amazing, high-tech measuring devices are available, just Google 'spaghetti measure', or go here)
• Dolmio Spaghetti Sauce (1 jar is enough for anywhere between 2-4 people, and they have a range of options)
• Minced Beef (approx 300g is recommended by the instructions on the Dolmio jars. Fresh is always preferable, but I've tended to use frozen, from Iceland)
• Salt (just a pinch, for the water in which the spaghetti is boiled).

Preparation Time: About 15 minutes!

Tools Required:

• 2 Medium-sized Saucepans (or 1 Saucepan for the spaghetti, 1 Frying Pan for the Bolognese)
• 2 Stirring Implements (because you really don't want to use one for both pans!)
• Sieve
• 2 Burners on your Hob!

The Process:
OK, confession time: The first time I attempted to make spaghetti bolognese like this, I got the timing all wrong. I thought the spaghetti would be really quick and the bolognese quite slow, so I started out with the meat, added the sauce, and only then made a start on the spaghetti. The end result was the the sauce was all but boiled away by the time the spaghetti was ready. So... here's how you should do it:

Half fill your saucepan with water, add a little salt and bring to the boil on the hob. Dump the spaghetti into the saucepan and keep it moving. Eventually it'll be flexible enough that the whole of it can be submerged. Meanwhile, brown your beef in the frying pan/2nd saucepan and on a high heat. No extra oil should be necessary, as there tends to be quite enough fat in minced beef. This should only take about five minutes, even from frozen. Once the meat is thoroughly browned, turn down the hob to a medium heat, tip in the contents of the sauce jar, stir it in, and keep it moving. It should be bubbling away nicely within about five minutes.

By this time, the spaghetti should be almost done, so make ready with the seive. Turn off the hob (both burners!), drain the spaghetti through the sieve and serve. Serve out the sauce over the top and lo, your Spag Bol is ready!

The Results:
As previously mentioned, the first attempt turned out rather drier than anticipated, but still quite good, all things considered. The 'Original' sauce is a very rich, tomato-based affair and, in it's standard form, I found it rather too sweet for my palette. It's worth noting at this point that sugar is listed as an ingredient, further proving how far this is from traditional Italian cooking.

For my second attempt, I chose Dolmio's 'Extra Onion & Garlic' version (others include 'Extra Mushroom', 'Extra Spicy', 'Low Fat', etc.), which seemed to me to offer a better, more rounded flavour.

That said, it needs to be pointed out that Dolmio's sauces all include a range of herbs which are not present in a traditional Bolognese sauce, and that most Italians would balk at the mere suggestion of garlic in a Bolognese sauce, let alone 'extra'.

Still, to my uneducated, insensitive English palette, both sauces were quite nice (other than the excessive sweetness of the 'Original' flavour), and the convenience of having a plate of Spag Bol in about 15 minutes cannot be overstated. Making one's own sauce is always going to be preferable but, if this blog has a message, it's all about not overlooking the quick-and-dirty option.

Adding to the convenience is that, once cooked, these 'bolognese sauces' (deliberate use of a lower-case 'B', there) store very well. They can easily survive in the fridge for a few days, and be served with minimal reheating, or be frozen for more long-term storage. Quite handy if you tend to be cooking for one.

Also, by the by, since I'm terrible at doing my washing up, I found that the remnants of the 'Extra Onion & Garlic' sauce grew a fine collection of salt crystals while sitting in my 'to do' pile. The website reckons 1.2g of salt per 125g serving (which the makers equate to a 'single' serving). Other sauces go up to 1.4g, and each jar contains 500g of sauce (enough to serve 4 by their reckoning).

I'm honestly not sure if this says anything about the quantities of salt hidden in everyday foodstuffs, or if it's just a damning indictment of my lazy-arse attitude to washing up after a meal.